Opiates
by chumato
Summary: Even sorcerer-reincarnates and wealthy heiresses can fall victim to chemical addictions. TomoyoxEriol. Part Five updated.
1. PART ONE: The Despondent Dame

**PART ONE: The Despondent Dame  
**

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* * *

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_In a fallen place, the saving Grace was the feeling_

_That it was her heart that he was stealing_

_Oh he was ready to embrace, with the fierce excitement_

_The eyes are bright;_

_They couldn't wait to get away  
_

* * *

**oOoOoOo

* * *

**

It was a strange feeling to be the most important person at the funeral of someone she barely knew. It was stranger, still, that it was the funeral of her mother.

The past few weeks had rolled by in a muddled flurry, and the shock of her mother's death made way for dullness of mind and many nights without sleep. There were many things to regret and shed tears over- that she did not have enough time to learn all about her mother's childhood and adolescence, that she would never have another bi-weekly midnight dinner with her after long hours at the company, that she would never feel the stroke of her mother's hand through her hair once in a while- and there was also the multi-million-dollar corporation left behind in Tomoyo's lap, but she found her emotional detachment quite striking.

A sip (or more) of rum during the ride to the funeral helped to blur the edges and intensify the comfortable numbness in which she found a safe haven. She sat throughout the funeral with a stiff back and puffy face, but somehow managed to wobble to the lectern and murmur a few touching words about her departed mother. Her loss of balance due to her drunkenness was mistaken for overwhelming grief, and various attendees rushed to her side for the procession.

Everything flew by so quickly thereafter, and before she knew it the crowd had disbanded and she was left staring at the marble tombstone that honored her mother. Something tugged at her sleeve.

"Tomoyo, we should go back inside," a familiar voice spoke.

Tomoyo turned around to meet the pretty, rosy face of Sakura Kinomoto that had been the subject of her adoration for most of her life. She nodded and allowed her dear cousin to lead her to the temple.

"I'm sad that we haven't had the chance to see each other often, Tomoyo. I'm so sad that we had to reunite this way."

It had been two years and five months since they graduated from high school and matriculated into their respective universities- Tomoeda University for Sakura and Syaoran, Tokyo University for Tomoyo. Their phone conversations had shortened and were far and few in between. Yearly summer and winter reunions would always serve to catch up on fun college stories, but Tomoyo could feel the distance pulling Sakura away from her as the brown-haired vixen fell deeper into her prince's arms.

"Don't apologize about that." Tomoyo tried her best to abstain from slurring. "It's not something we could have controlled."

"I wasn't there for you. I was a terrible friend."

They made it across the field of wet grass to the temple entrance. It was clear, even with Tomoyo's diminished vision, that Sakura had been crying the whole day; her eyes were tinted red and she sniffled in between sentences. Tomoyo firmly held Sakura's cold hands and ran her thumb over her knuckles.

"You're here for me right now, Sakura. You're always with me."

Tomoyo put her lips against Sakura's and regretted it immediately. Sakura stepped back, looking down at her feet and taking her hands away.

"Tomoyo..."

Tomoyo shook her head, still feeling the slight warmth from the kiss and the regret creating a nauseating tug in her chest.

"I'm really sorry I did that. I had some rum on the way over and I'm a bit drunk right now." She mustered a weak smile, her eyes unfocused.

"I could tell." Sakura offered a brittle smile in return.

Syaoran, clad all in black, appeared from the doorway. He still had that dignified, modest air about him but his features were gloomy. Tomoyo begrudgingly learned to hate him over the years.

"Tomoyo, we're all really sad about your mother's death. Sakura and I will be here for you anytime you need us for anything."

Tomoyo offered a mere nod of the head to the young man and walked back into the temple to endure more trite condolences.

* * *

**oOoOoOo

* * *

**

"Looks like that Japanese girl is going to be having a hell of a time claiming her share of the company."

A seminude young man stretched in his bed and tossed the newspaper aside. He looked over at a dark-haired man, wearing a bathrobe as he wiped his glasses.

"Oh? I thought the former CEO had renewed her will a month before the accident and put everything straight."

"She did, but the will apparently gives her daughter some time to choose whether or not she'll take over. If she takes over immediately, she has to leave her university studies. If she doesn't take over, then the next immediate heads of the company will take over and probably cut the company up for its shareholders."

The dark-haired man placed his glasses over his nose and sat down next to the other.

"I'm guessing the executives are your typical corporate sharks, biting their way through anything to get to the money. Looks like she's exactly our age, too. Gotta be tough." He handed the paper over to the bespectacled man. "Check the photo, Eriol. She's pretty good-looking, even for a woman."

Eriol chuckled as he observed the medium-sized photograph of the business section. The media truly knew how to capture people in their most aggravated states of mind; the girl in the photo, though charming in looks, looked absolutely exhausted with her black clothes indicating that she had just attended her mother's funeral and her band of bodyguards dutifully pushing away microphones and cameras.

"This girl is very attractive. She reminds me of someone I'd been with a long time ago. Japanese women are absolutely delicious in bed."

Linus turned over, mildly surprised.

"You've been with women before?"

Eriol ran his hand through his companion's sand-colored hair.

"Yes, I have, and who the hell cares."

Eriol grinned and kissed Linus's hand.

"London also has the most exquisite gay men in all the world. Dorian Grays in every corner, all susceptible to the tempting seduction of the evil oriental opium poppy. It's the perfect place for a man like me." Eriol stood up and began to collect his clothes.

Linus gazed at the tray of the opium bowl and the ceramic pipe they shared the night before. He couldn't tell if the intoxicating smell had dissipated yet.

"So you'll be leaving soon, then."

"Yes, my flight is scheduled for tonight." Eriol looked over and smiled apologetically. "You've got a great future ahead of you, and someone like me will only bog you down with disgusting habits." He gestured to the tray. "Don't become Dorian Gray, now. For a mortal being, hedonism is good only in moderation."

Linus began to stand up, taken aback by the sudden departure.

"I'll see you again, won't I? London's your home. You can't possibly stay away forever! You have to finish your education at the university."

Eriol shrugged.

"You'll probably see me again, but don't wait for me. Keep that opium and pipe as tokens of my appreciation for your friendship."

"May I at least drive you to the airport? It's the least I could do-"

Shaking his head, Eriol retorted, "My dear friend, you really ought to forget about me. It's for your own good."

Eriol gave him a handshake and walked out of the room, luggage and newspaper in hand.

Linus began to fall into a sluggish, lethargic state and collapsed in his bed. He woke up a few hours later, unsure of the events that had transpired the night before. Next to him was a tea tray with strange objects that did not belong to him.

* * *

**oOoOoOo

* * *

**

Part of her was hysterically proud that she had gotten this far from her house and staff of maids, and another part of her was disgusted at how crazy she was. But the insane are marked by an ignorance of their condition, so she must have been in a solid state of mind.

She was just a little drunk and hopped up on pills.

She kept running, however, almost wheezing for breath through the mist and wisps of her condensed breath flying behind her. The skin under her coat and scarf was damp with perspiration, and her bangs began to uncomfortably stick to her forehead. The bridge was finally in sight.

Tomoyo slowed her pace into a halting gallop and grasped the railing of the bridge. She looked down at the water below rushing downstream past groups of dark, sharp rocks.

'_They probably found out I'm not in the house. They're looking for me now._'

She moved her body over the railing, standing on the bare edge of the bridge and took out an old videotape from her bag. She threw the tape at the rocks below, smiling maniacally as she watched the black plastic fly apart and the film unravel into streaks on the water surface. She continued to destroy more tapes in that manner until a tangled mass of shiny black film began to form around the rocks, reflecting the moonlight.

The pollution she created was quite pretty.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?"

The booming voice of a park ranger caused her already unstable heart to leap as she lost her footing.

"Ahh- **_SHIT_**!"

She began to stumble off the bridge, scraping her legs against the concrete and trying to hold on to the bottom of the railing. It was like ice to her touch, and the humid air made it just as slippery.

This was how she was going to die- sweaty and bloody, with traces of alcohol and a cocktail of drugs in her system. With her death would come the death of the Daidouji Corporation, divided like a cake among her mother's former subordinates. She would never sing again, read another book again, see whatever friends she had again-

In a quick moment she felt a pair of hands around her wrists that pulled her up back onto the bridge. She rolled over onto the ground with another body, her scarf flying over and blocking her face and vision. She could barely breathe.

"Oh, my God! Wh-who are you," the park ranger stuttered. "Where the hell did you come from? I didn't see any car or anything drive this way!"

The person who had evidently saved her rose to his feet, helping Tomoyo stand while keeping her face concealed. She felt like vomiting.

"I'm terribly sorry for the trouble, officer! I've been looking for my sister for hours since I was told she escaped from the mental hospital."

"Mental hospital?"

"Yes, this poor girl's very ill. Surely you'll let us go with a simple warning? She's in enough trouble as it is."

The park ranger was temporarily speechless.

"I saw her throwing plastic waste into the stream, sir. I'm afraid I'll have to write a ticket-"

"Officer, please! I beg you, let's keep this off the books. Here, I'll leave sixty-three thousand yen in cash. It's all I'm carrying."

Tomoyo could feel him getting his wallet and pulling out some bills.

"Sixty-three thousand?"

"Yes! All for your noble cause! Think of it as an anonymous donation to the park from yours truly."

They walked towards the park ranger, who shakily accepted the money and dumbfoundedly watched as the two walked hurriedly down the road.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

Tomoyo's fear of dying had not passed on.

Before, she was seconds away from death by sharp boulders, and now she was possibly moments away from death by a psychotic serial rapist and killer. She remained silent, following her would-be murderer and trying to remember if she had her pepper spray. She quietly gasped when she felt a small army knife in one of her coat pockets.

"All right, let's take this scarf off you."

The moment she could see light, she drew all her strength and slammed her fist into the man's face. He groaned and stumbled to the ground.

"WHO ARE YOU?" she bellowed. "**STAY ON THE GROUND**!" She held the knife towards him.

He spit out some blood and turned his face towards Tomoyo. He smiled.

"It's me, Eriol Hiiragizawa. Good to see you again, Miss Daidouji."

The familiar name and face held her shocked. His facial features appeared similar from ten years before- he still wore glasses but sported a thin ponytail and a bloody lip.

"Wha-what? What are you here for?" she fumbled with her words.

"I'd like to ask you the same thing."

Tomoyo scowled.

"You first."

"I'm visiting Japan from London. You just happened to be the first person I reunited with."

"Bullshit! Just by coincidence, you just happen to be at the same random bridge at four in the morning?"

"There's no such thing as a coincidence in this universe, Daidouji. I'm sure fate led us to each other for a very good reason."

Tomoyo grew angry. Dealing with magical men was an extremely frustrating task, and the mental frustration combined with the effects of alcohol sent a sharp pain through her head. She could feel a surge of a cold sweat overcoming her body.

"What were you planning to do with me?" she asked.

"Take you home, I suppose."

Tomoyo huffed. "My bodyguards would have killed you on the spot!"

"Bullshit," Eriol smiled. "You've dismissed your regular bodyguards since your mother died. Guns don't really scare me too much, anyway. Drunken women with a blade, however, are quite formidable creatures."

She tried to reply, or plunge the knife into his smug face, but she couldn't. The booze and pills began to take their toll. An incredibly sickening pain lurched through her abdomen and she collapsed to her knees. She held onto her knife as her vision grew dark...

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

**

* * *

**A pillow under her head. Soft cotton sheets over her body. Not naked.

Good.

Tomoyo opened her eyes, immediately recognizing the confines of her own bedroom. She still felt groggy, the nausea over a small hangover evidently taking place. She climbed out of her bed and opened her bedroom door.

"Miss Tomoyo!_ You're awake_! Are you feeling well?" a concerned maid approached Tomoyo.

"Yes, yes I'm all right... how did I get back in my room?"

"W-well, Miss Sakura claimed to have found you passed out at her door. She was concerned that taking you to the hospital might cause a media frenzy so she brought you home immediately and we had you checked up with an on-call doctor. Miss Tomoyo, please do not alarm us like that!"

Tomoyo was quite sure that had not happened. Before she could reply, Sakura leaped into her sight and ran towards her.

"Tomoyo! I've never seen you so sick before! I thought I was going to get a heart attack when I saw you last night." Sakura hugged her. Tomoyo was not sure if she had really woken up, but Sakura felt real and so did the sweet smell of her hair. There was no mistake in that. She pulled away from the embrace and looked inquisitively at the girl's face.

"Sakura, I was never in your neighborhood last night. How would I have gotten there by myself?"

"I could only assume you walked and fainted right after you rang the intercom. Thank god you're okay..."

No. Something was wrong. Hiiragizawa had been with her, she remembered that much. He must have taken her to Sakura's apartment and left her there.

"Sakura! Wasn't Eriol Hiiragizawa with me last night? I swear he was with me."

Sakura looked surprised at the mention of the name.

"Eriol? He's back in Tomoeda? I haven't talked to him in years."

Sakura looked more worried, and exchanged glances with the maid.

Tomoyo shook her head. "Sorry, I probably had a weird dream. I need some hangover medicine..." The sickening headache was making its wave across her brain again.

"Yes Miss, please just sit down with Miss Sakura. You also have a conference at three in the afternoon with the company directors."

"Don't worry Tomoyo." Sakura held her hand and smiled. "I'll be with you until the meeting is over and we can spend the day together. We have to."

Her grin was almost contagious, and there was no way Tomoyo could ever deny the brilliant sparkle of those lovely green eyes. Tomoyo smiled back, not sure if spending the day with her cousin would be the best thing to do.

She wanted another drink.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

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**End Note: **I always feel obliged to put a note on all my fics... or, all three of them. This is the Tomoyo/Eriol fanfiction I've been wanting to write for about seven years. I've supported this pairing since I was in middle school, and now I'm in my second year of college. My love for this pairing has not withered away but rather stronger and more refined. I have obviously not written fanfiction for a long time. I feel awkward when writing dialogue, and I am sorry that there was so much of it in this part of the story. I find it boring to read, but I hope I made up for it with other parts as well.

I don't want to say so much, but I thank you for reading/skimming this story. It's not over yet! I plan to make it a three-part story type of thing.

I hope nobody was offended by the usage of drugs and alcohol or the casual sexuality of this story, but I had a hell lot of fun breaking past the prim, proper, gentle exteriors of Tomoyo and Eriol and showing them as the freaks they would become in the real world. I do not personally support the abuse of drugs and alcohol. It just makes for interesting fanfics. Seriously, Tomoyo was bound to crack some time and once I pictured Eriol as a sort of sexual connoisseur I couldn't look back.

I do my best to stick to the events of the original CCS story and address the elements of the characters' personalities that I thought would most likely change within a decade. And in keeping up with the maths, if anyone is interested, I meant for the kids to be about 20 years old here- closer to my age so I'd know how to write for them.

The song-spiration for this part of the story was "Only Ones Who Know" by the Arctic Monkeys. I altered the lyrics to what I had originally -_thought_- they were before I looked them up. I liked my misheard version a bit better, but the song is just so beautiful and I thought it somehow encaptured the fragility of [my version of] Tomoyo and Eriol.

More awaits next time!


	2. PART TWO: Smoke and Skin

**PART TWO: Smoke and Skin

* * *

**

_I hope that our few remaining friends _

_Give up on trying to save us _

_I hope we come out with a fail-safe plot _

_To piss off the dumb few that forgave us

* * *

_

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

Unlike wine, people get rancid and unappealing with age.

Low murmurs and shuffles of paper sounded through the room as Tomoyo looked at the faces sitting across the table. Some of their features were discolored with the gray of decay and marred with wrinkles; the younger ones had an air of arrogance and haughty impatience. However, all their eyes were shifting from form to form and glancing at Tomoyo to check for any signs of weakness that could come from a twitch of the mouth, a furrowed brow or slouched shoulders. She sat perfectly still, responding in a firm voice that was lower than her usual own.

She was just an annoyance to these executives' plans for conquest and division. They had been with the company for years; if only they could give an inheritance portion to her and keep the rest to themselves! The rich brat would be comfortably well off on her own and allow them all the elbow room they wanted to merge with other corporations, cash in their checks and make some more money before they could take a vacation at an island resort.

In all honesty, that idea of giving the company up (and, in turn, giving up the stress and work that come with it) and taking her handsome share had its appeal.

On the other hand, giving it up to the sharks in suits before her would be something she could never forgive herself for. A little part of her wanted the stress and work- because then, she could at least drink for a reason. It was all too much to let go of.

"I'm going to take over my mother's position. I'm going to do it," she whispered to the lawyer to her right.

The lawyer shook her head and frowned.

"As your attorney, I have to say that that is a rash and irresponsible idea. You have not worked with the company before, and these executives have the experience to take care of the company."

"I don't have the experience, but my mother wouldn't have left me with the company if she didn't think I could do it," she snapped.

The lawyer to her left chimed in, "Miss Daidouji, please give this more thought. Even if you took over your mother's position, there would have to be a transient period over the course of months where you'll only be a subordinate so you can be shown the ropes of the company."

She could sense the lawyers staring at her intently, but she continued to stare blankly into the space before her.

He took a breath and continued, "You will not have time to continue your education at the university. You might have to give up college life and take mostly extension courses, which might take you a significantly longer time to graduate."

Tomoyo waved him off.

"I understand your concerns, but those things are secondary to the company itself." She began to collect her papers.

"Please set a date for October. I trust you to design stipulations in a new contract that will accurately adhere to the wishes my mother specified in her will."

"But this transition will take months to finalize!"

"Then just call me once you've set a damn date."

Tomoyo bowed to whoever was in front of her and left the room, leaving behind a group of frustrated executives and a few confuddled attorneys.

She was not sure what she had gotten herself into.

* * *

**oOoOoOo

* * *

**

Tomoyo felt odd to be drinking coffee with someone whom she'd tried to forget the night before. The few videotapes she'd managed to destroy from the bridge were tapes she recorded over a decade ago during Sakura's card-captoring nights. They were cinematographic masterpieces, recordings of the supernatural and evidence that magic existed in this world; they were also recordings of a testament of love to someone who would never love her back.

That she was found outside Sakura's apartment, passed out and boozed up, was very embarrassing as well. The circumstances of the situation were quite awkward.

"Did the meeting go well, Tomoyo?" Sakura asked, snapping Tomoyo back to earth.

She shrugged.

"Depends on how you see it. I'm going to be taking over the company within the next few months. I've made my decision."

Sakura's eyes widened.

"Th-that's big news! Are you sure you're ready for it? You're still in school..."

"My lawyers sure don't think so." Tomoyo smiled. "As for school, I'll have to start taking extension courses to get my degree. My mother's remains would just roll in the grave if I never graduated."

Sakura grinned back.

"Tomoyo, I'll always support your choices. I'm sure Aunt Sonomi would have been relieved to have you lead the company after her."

She bashfully took Tomoyo's hand and stroked the back of her hand. Tomoyo couldn't speak, and her heart seemed to want to jump out of her mouth.

"Sakura, what are you-"

Sakura brought her hand up to her cheek and kissed it, and Tomoyo wanted to faint.

"Wh-_What_?" Tomoyo managed in a raspy voice.

"You have to let me use some of your hand cream!" a man's voice came out of Sakura's mouth.

Eriol Hiiragizawa's voice, specifically.

"_**YOU**_!" Tomoyo shrieked, yanking back her hand and leaping from her seat.

"Calm down, Tomoyo, or you'll create a scene." Sakura's face looked smug as she- or he- took a casual sip of coffee.

Fury blinded Tomoyo, a whirlpool of rage clouding her vision and consuming her. She threw her hot coffee towards Sakura's head, missed, and ran out the cafe as stunned cashiers and customers stared.

"Tomoyo!" Sakura's voice called after her.

"_**GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU BASTARD**,_" Tomoyo roared back, storming away from the voice.

Sakura's hand caught Tomoyo's arm, and she spun around to meet her face.

"How dare you trick me like that? **_WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE_**?"

"Well," Sakura's voice said, her face still smiling, "You have to admit, I had you going there."

Tomoyo continued to struggle out of his grip, contemplating which area of his lower body she would kick- but that would be an incredibly strange thing to do while he was using Sakura's image.

"Calm down, Tomoyo! All I wanted was to have some coffee with you, not so much have it get thrown at me. Using the illusion of Sakura's body was the best way to do that. Couldn't tell the difference at all, could you?"

Tomoyo took back her arm and scowled.

"I haven't seen you since we were in primary school. What would you want to see me for? Why not go to Sakura or Syaoran first, and THEN ask to see me?"

"Well, I highly doubted that you'd want to see those two anytime soon. I realized I was incorrect the moment you saw me in Sakura's image this morning." His voice was sly and aggravating.

"I was hungover. Didn't know what I was doing." Tomoyo looked away, but she was fully conscious of the sweet relief that washed over her when she saw Sakura's sweet face at her house.

"Well, see! That's exactly why I'm here. You've gotten into some destructive habits these past years, and I am supposed to help you out."

"Fuck off." Tomoyo turned and began to walk away. "I can afford all the help I want."

"True," Eriol said back, "but you can't chase away a bad reputation with your money. There's a certain park ranger who still has some pieces of plastic with your prints on them. Wildlife endangerment and alcoholism aren't taken too lightly nowadays, ma'am."

Tomoyo stopped in her tracks. Any sudden, odd behavior could be taken as signs of mental instability and render her unable to take hold of the company. Any criminal offense would tarnish her chances to the throne.

"Plus, you owe me for saving your life and this busted lip you gave me," he added.

She sighed. He had her in his trap.

"_What _do you want from me?"

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

Tall windows framed with long ornate drapes displayed the homeowner's wealth very well. Weak rays of sunlight trickled into the room, offering a dim view of the thick layers of dust that sat upon every surface of the quarters.

"I've been here once before," Tomoyo said. "It was after Sakura changed the cards and you were going to leave for England with Kaho."

Eriol nodded as he wiped some dust off a book. He had reverted to his original form.

She looked around the dark, musty room.

"Well, what did you bring me here for? Do you want me to clean as payment?"

"Of course not. I just wanted to catch up on old times."

Tomoyo rolled her eyes in contempt. The last thing she wanted was a therapy session with a non-certified hack with possible mind-reading capabilities.

With a wave of his hand, the dust from the lounge chairs disappeared and a glowing yellow light illuminated the room. He gestured for her to take a seat as he rummaged through cabinets and drawers.

"Ah! Here it is," he exclaimed. He slowly pulled out a black velvet chest and set it on a table. "I kept this here in case I ever came back to Japan. I couldn't risk the hassle of airport security."

Tomoyo squinted through the dim light, barely discerning the strange objects he pulled out from the chest: a short cylindrical container, thin pipes and a tray.

He met Tomoyo's eyes and grinned.

"I'm afraid I've fallen back into old habits. Clow Reed was quite the opium connoisseur back in the day."

"Ugh! That is a disgusting habit," she said, revolted.

Eriol smirked.

"And your alcohol addiction isn't too admirable of a pastime either."

He proceeded to insert a small wad of opium into the bowl of the pipe and placed it over a flame. Tomoyo watched as he blissfully smoked from the pipe and entered a state of langour. She began to get impatient.

"Please, don't hesitate to help yourself to the contents of the liquor cabinet," Eriol said. "However, I recommend you sample a puff before you completely disregard it as a mood enhancer."

"That won't let me leave any sooner, would it?"

"No, but it might help."

He held the pipe out toward her, but she walked toward the cabinet and poured herself a glass of dark red wine. The fragrance of the wine was rich and floral, and the flavor was intoxicating.

"When did you start drinking?" he asked.

"Yesterday."

"Come, now."

She rolled her eyes and took another sip.

"Years ago, but more heavily since the plane crash."

"Huh," Eriol sounded, "so you had to first cope with university life, which would be quite difficult. And there was also Sakura, always with that damned descendant of mine. Despite all that, you did well in your studies and savored whatever it was that you had left with the girl you loved. Am I getting it about right?"

Tomoyo didn't respond. His voice had assumed a tone of amused cruelty, but he stared off into the ceiling as he spoke.

"After that, there was then the accident that killed your mother. With that came a business media frenzy and the terrible weight of your mother's corporation... and also_ all that money_."

He glanced at her, swirls of smoke escaping through his lips. His dark eyes appeared to twinkle through his glasses.

"You're a clever girl, and you know that simply giving the company away to be cut up like cooked game would be an absolute waste. How am I doing?"

She wouldn't show emotion or any other signs of weakness to him. The wine also helped to numb her mind. She raised her eyebrows matter-of-factly and looked at her glass. The heavy, sickening yet floral stench of opium grew oppressing.

"That's been the story of my life up until now." She smiled bitterly into her glass. "How about you? Why the sudden trip to Tomoeda by yourself? It couldn't possibly be just to blackmail and bother me."

"Well, as long as we're being honest," Eriol continued, "Kaho met someone else three years ago and left me in the dust. I broke out the old opium sets and began to use them for something other than oriental decor pieces."

"Do you work at all?"

"I'm currently taking a break from being a physics major at the Royale University in London." He grinned and set the pipe down on the tray. "Clow devoted his life to magic, women and drugs. I thought I'd try to change things a bit this lifetime and study the universe instead of screwing around with it. What is your area of study?"

"Business and economics. Like mother like daughter, I suppose."

Eriol stood up and took a seat next to Tomoyo. She thought about scooting away, but knew that would only prompt him to do something more infuriating. The smell of opium began to grow on her, and it was no longer so terrible. She had probably inhaled enough of the fumes to feel some of the effects herself.

From the looks of his face, he was very much feeling the effects of the opium; his dark hair fell over his half-lidded eyes and he moved sluggishly as he took her left hand, her right holding the glass. He held her hand to his cheek, stroking the back of her hand as he did in the cafe. Tomoyo pulled her hand back.

"Would you like me to use Sakura's image again? You seemed to enjoy it in the cafe when you thought I was her."

She set the glass down on the table and stood up, angry and ready to leave.

"I think we've caught up enough. You're high and acting like a pig."

He pulled her back to the sofa.

"Please, I was just kidding. Sakura's a foolish girl to choose that foolish boy over you. I mean, your mothers were cousins! Sakura is my spiritual daughter and Syaoran is my descendant by about a hundred or so years."

Tomoyo pushed Eriol to the other side of the sofa.

"You had better shut up, or the rest of your expensive wine is going on your head."

Eriol chuckled as he made his way back close to Tomoyo.

"Fine, fine." He began to touch her hair. "Why do you keep your hair so long? It's beautiful, but it must be a hassle to maintain if you don't have any magical powers."

"My hair reminded my mother of Nadeshiko's. She always loved to brush it, and it helped her cope. She never got over her loss of Nadeshiko to Sakura's dad or to her sickness."

Her mother, as powerful and wealthy as she was, could easily be brought to tears by the memory of Sakura's mother. Tomoyo knew that her mother loved Nadeshiko the way she loved Sakura. It was adoration, infatuation and obsession that could amount to nothing but a feeling of utter loss and contempt. She hated to watch Sakura look at Syaoran with her pretty green eyes, a newfound longing and animalistic tension growing between the two as they got older and the hormones kicked in. Tomoyo could tell that things were going to drastically change during high school; she remembered the sinking feeling after Sakura, red in the face, excitedly whispered to her about the intense kissing session she had with Syaoran the night before. She wanted to vomit.

Tomoyo continued to play her role of the bemused best friend while she wanted to off herself on the spot. It was also during those years that she decided a mutually satisfying relationship would never be hers to claim; on a whim she stole some alcohol from her mother's collection, hoping that maybe it would be a good way to face the daily, unintended emotional kickboxing matches she always lost.

She examined her hair, its dark color and loose waves; her hair really was too long to maintain. She could feel Eriol's hand on hers again, and a question began to form in her throat.

"Did Kaho really leave you so suddenly?"

"It gradually crumbled. It was difficult for her to cope with being with me. We couldn't be seen the way she wanted to in public, so we had to wait before we looked acceptable. She felt old while I still looked so young. Seven years were enough for her to decide she wanted something else."

He kissed her hand.

"Funny, Clow Reed had his fine share of men and women and broke hearts rather than get hurt himself. He was cunning in that way. I guess I'm somehow a bit different; I have the decency to erase their memories before I leave."

"You're both quite disgusting men."

"And pining after a girl who will never sexually want you makes you pathetic," he said against her palm.

She smacked his mouth with her palm, making him flinch.

"I suppose you thought I'd fall for your advances?"

He chuckled, taking a taste of the wine.

"Well, besides your virginity, what have you got to lose? You might as well have some fun as a young woman before you begin your life as an undersexed, uptight head of the Daidouji Corporation."

"I have no intention of doing anything disgusting with you anytime soon, Hiiragizawa. You need to let me go now."

He looked out through the window. Snow seemed to fall heavily, almost in a torrent, onto the ground. The sound of thunder rolled from the darkening sky.

"Looks like there's a sudden snowstorm. You'd better stay inside for the night. Don't worry, your maids know you're safe with Sakura."

Tomoyo glared at Eriol and huffed. The snowstorm was obviously his doing.

"Give me some fucking opium. Maybe that'll pass the time."

"As you wish."

Eriol began to prepare the ceramic pipe for her. It was a very fluid and almost artistic process, and at the end she was holding the smooth, thin pipe in her hand. She glanced at Eriol before she put her lips against the mouthpiece and took a breath. The smoke that entered her mouth was acrid and aromatic, and she let it in through her lungs before she began to cough it out. Her throat burned and her eyes watered, and she drank whatever was left of the wine that Eriol put to her lips.

"The first time may be difficult for many people," he said. "Try it again. You'll like it, I guarantee."

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

_I am drowning _

_There is no sign of land _

_You are coming down with me _

_Hand in unlovable hand_

_And I hope you die _

_I hope we both die_

* * *

**oOoOoOo

* * *

**

They had smoked up about half the small bag by the time their conversations grew slurred and strangely lucid. Tomoyo didn't mind him holding her hand and circling his thumb along the skin of her wrist. In fact, it felt good. She set down her pipe and leaned toward Eriol, sleepily examining his face. She removed his glasses and pushed his hair from his eyes with both her hands.

"Sakura doesn't love me because she isn't gay or into her cousins. Kaho isn't related to you, and you're technically older than she is. Why would she leave you? I mean, you're magic. Both of you seemed to really like each other ten years ago."

He looked into her sleepy yet pensive face and shrugged, smiling. He took her hands and planted a kiss into both her palms.

"I'm an ancient soul in a young, ripe body. She wanted something more than a relationship with a powerful sorceror, a big mansion and an unlimited supply of opium and booze. She wanted a nice, normal life- a normal husband, normal house, children and a pet before it was too late for her." He sighed and continued, "I tried to give everything to her, convincing her that I wasn't such a freak. Her own fears got the best of her."

"I don't understand women sometimes. They are unecessarily complex, and men are just disgusting."

"You keep saying that, but you're letting me touch you."

His hands migrated to her face and hair, stroking and combing with his fingers. She began to do the same. Maybe it was the drugs and wine, but his dark hair felt silky along her fingers and his eyes were gorgeous under the dim lights; they were dark gray- almost a hue of the darkest blue as well- and held the million secrets of two lifetimes.

Yet, he too, was only human.

"I'm going to take a long, hot shower when I get sober."

"Perhaps I'll join you?"

"Don't count on it."

But she had to admit to herself, feeling his fingers stroking her scalp and brushing through her hair was incredibly soothing.

There was no denying the intense, broken look he now wore after thinking about the only woman he loved in this lifetime; even powerful sorceror-reincarnates could have their hearts broken as well. There was also no way she could ignore how pleasant it felt, his hands gently stroking her hair as she struggled to suppress her anger over her what she had lost. As pretty, smart and wealthy as she was, even she couldn't help but let some things slip through her fingers.

Tomoyo lifted his hand from her head and kissed it. She smiled. The last thing she kissed was Sakura's mouth and she preferred this a bit more.

"Are you warming up to me a bit more, now?" he asked, slightly taken aback.

"You could say that. But it's strictly because you drugged me. I will regret this completely by morning."

She leaned in closer and said, "We both should seek psychiatric help."

Taking his face in both hands, she kissed him.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

_I hope it stays dark forever _

_I hope the worst isn't over_

_ And I hope you blink before I do _

_And I hope I never get sober

* * *

_**oOoOoOo**

* * *

**End Note**: This chapter was a bit more difficult to push through with, but voila! I'm done with it... I even proofread a bit and hope there aren't too many mistakes in here. There will be one or two chapters coming up for sure.

The songspiration for this chapter was "No Children" by Mountain Goats. It is a wonderfully contradictory, dark and sad song I thought went well with the mood of this chapter. Also, I couldn't help but make Eriol a physics major; they're the weirdest and smartest types of people around. Biz/Econ was a very suitable major for Tomoyo; I've seen lots of stories where she's going to fashion school or art school or having a job as a photographer, and I just wanted to do something a little different. She's a born leader!

I also definitely had xxxHolic/Tsubasa in mind while writing this. Yuuko obviously adopted her opium addiction because of Clow Reed, that cunning bastard.

Hope you enjoyed, and feel free to tell me what you think! More to come.


	3. PART THREE: Ill Intoxication

**PART THREE: Ill Intoxication  
**

* * *

_You cut me up and you make me bleed _

_A sad stained heart hanging on my sleeve _

_I'll still follow you_

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

**

* * *

**

"God, your hair is so long."

"So is yours." She looked at the ponytail that sat against his chest. "You must pick up many men with that hairstyle."

Neither of them knew exactly how much time had passed. The curtains were drawn and the room had been dark, illuminated by the weak yellow glow of a few lamps for hours.

He buried his face against her neck and smiled.

"It's worked wonderfully with the men for years."

Tomoyo glanced at Eriol. "So you're gay now?"

Eriol huffed, waving her off. "Oh Tomoyo, I dislike the imposition of social labels on love. Love is too _sacred _to associate with the insular infrastructure of modern society."

Tomoyo squinted her eyes at him and said, "That's a great way to give yourself an excuse for screwing everyone and abandoning them."

"Oh, I'm not a shameless animal as you think. It's the art of seduction I get a thrill from." He ran his fingertips along her thigh beneath her skirt, his voice reduced to a cozy whisper.

She smacked away his arm.

"Even slugs have mating rituals, you ass."

He sighed and took a bundle of her hair in his hand, admiring its sheen and dark color.

"Well, I'm having a blast seducing you."

"And I'd like to tell you, you are bound to fail."

Eriol looked a bit sullen at the fact that she was still fully clothed. Despite the opium and alcohol running through their systems, Tomoyo proved to be incorrigible.

He nuzzled against her neck again and placed lazy, slow kisses against her skin.

"But you smell so good. Your skin is just _exquisite_."

Tomoyo took his chin and angled his face to meet his eyes.

"Tell me why you came back. We hadn't written to each other in years and I thought we'd just forgotten about each other."

Eriol smiled.

"Even as a child you were quite the precocious one. I knew you were in love with Sakura and you'd always be in love with her, and so your heart was bound to break. Then your name began to appear in the news, and I just knew you were going to crack."

Tomoyo turned away, exasperated with his presumptuous voice. Sadly, he was exactly right.

"_Besides_," he said into her ear, "_misery loves company_."

She sighed and moved her hand across the plush carpet they had somehow lied down on the past however-many hours. She didn't want to be miserable, but it always seemed to want to stick to her like a bad, damp smell.

"Would you want to get together with Kaho again, if you were given the chance?" she dared to ask.

"I would," he said without hesitation. Tomoyo kept her head turned away from him. She couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed; three years had passed since their breakup and he'd slept with numerous people, but those damned feelings still lingered.

"But you must understand, I'm only recovering from a traumatic breakup. I was entirely convinced, like a fool, that she'd always be with me." He paused.

"And wouldn't you give everything up to have Sakura run into your arms and dump that stupid boy?" his voice was sly, and she hated it.

She replied, "I would."

"That's exactly why we're here together. We need to get over the people we wanted and can never, ever have."

"With drugs?"

Eriol shrugged. "In any way possible. Erasing specific memories is easy with spells if the memories are short and recent, but it's hard to perform on oneself. I've tried, and it completely backfired."

"What happened?"

He smirked.

"The memories became deeper. I couldn't stop thinking of her. Her hair, her eyes, her voice, her hands..."

Eriol softly ran his fingers across Tomoyo's lips. "Her lips were so lovely. Just the barest shade of light red."

"Her silky neck." He kissed her neck.

"Her body was simply wonderful." He knew better than to touch Tomoyo anywhere below the neck.

"It seems like you'll never get over Kaho," Tomoyo said. "I know I'll love Sakura forever." She stared at the patterned ceiling. His house was ornate in an over-the-top manner.

"It's like radioactive decay. Feelings degrade and whither away, but they'll be there for a very, very long time. They never completely disappear."

Tomoyo continued to look at the ceiling, focusing on the numbness that cushioned her mind.

"Maybe it'll be good to know while we're still high," he started, "that Sakura will lose her virginity to Syaoran. Tonight."

She quickly turned to look at Eriol, a hot surge of resentment swelling in her stomach. She didn't say anything.

"She's in his apartment right now, talking about how worried she is about you. She's told him that you were acting strange and kissed her at your mother's funeral. Neither of them wants to call you just yet, but they really are very concerned." Eriol eyed her, a cruel light in his eye.

"It was bound to happen," she muttered. Warm tears began to cloud her vision.

"Soon they'll sit on his couch, where things will begin to get intimate. He'll kiss her hair, then her neck, then her mouth, and she'll reciprocate. He's a natural. You can tell he's my descendant, since he's kept a box of condoms in his room just in case."

Tomoyo felt her face grow hot and she could hear her heart pounding in her chest.

"I'm going to rip your tongue out if you don't stop," she snapped.

"Oh, Daidouji, you need to lighten up. I told you all about Kaho. I might be faring better than you are."

"Well, you don't have your dead mother's company to deal with."

Tomoyo's own words stung. She remembered her mother's voice, her loving hand stroking her hair and the sound of her heels clicking against the hard floors of their home. These memories were scarce in Tomoyo's mind, but the fact that she'd never experience her mother's presence left a bitter, hollow feeling of despair.

"The company's the best thing she left behind. It's her legacy. There was no way in hell I could let others get to it."

Eriol sighed and sat up. His hair was disheveled and his clothes messy, the upper buttons of his shirt undone. Tomoyo had never imagined him to look anything besides elegant and sophisticated. She sat up as well and looked at the sorry state of her clothes, reeking of alcohol and opium. A pain in her head began to throb as she tried to smooth out the wrinkles in her skirt.

He touched her hands to stop her and proceeded to scrunch up her skirt further.

"What are you doing?"

"It looks better this way." Eriol grinned at her.

"You'd look better without that stupid ponytail."

"I'll cut it off if you take your clothes off."

She slapped him and formed a glowing red blotch on the side of his face.

"I won't stay here to get harassed by you, Hiiragizawa."

"Fine. I'll cut off my ponytail if you get rid of your wonderful long hair."

"Absolutely not. My mother wanted to keep my hair this way to remind her of-"

"Exactly."

Tomoyo gave him a puzzled look.

"Your hair is what drags you down. It's not only difficult to physically manage, but it also bogs you down emotionally. Your mother wanted you to wear your hair long because it would look like Nadeshiko's hair." He grinned mischieviously. "I remember Fujitaka loved to touch it, smell it while making love to her..."

Tomoyo exclaimed in disgust. "How could you pry into something like that?"

"Fujitaka is my other half. We're bound together in an unusual way, and I couldn't help but share that memory with him. Clow Reed was one horny man himself. A master of seduction! He was a genius."

She rolled her eyes.

"My hair reminds me of my mother. You can't take it away."

"Your hair, madam," Eriol began slowly, "also contains your hopeless love for Sakura. Get rid of it, and you'll be on your way to getting over these intense feelings you harbor over her."

"You are obviously still drunk."

Eriol shrugged and suddenly smiled at her.

"Oh, they're starting."

Tomoyo groaned. "Please, please shut up. This is disgusting, what you're doing."

"Well you're obviously not going to get into bed with me. I need to keep myself amused. Would you sleep with me if I used Sakura's image again?"

"**ABSOLUTELY NOT**!" she screamed, outraged. The stress Eriol gave her was causing her to feel ill. She lied back down in an effort to quell the raging whirlpool in her stomach. Anger, jealousy and simple drunkenness were all about to rush up her throat in the form of burning, liquid vomit.

He watched her suffering and continued with his vision. "Mmm. They're on the bed now. He's shaking, he's so nervous. He's fumbling, trying to take her brassiere off, ha!"

Tomoyo madly crawled over to Eriol and tackled him to the floor, smashing her hand over his mouth to quiet him down.

"I told you to shut up. _I really, really do not want to hear this_," she hissed through gritted teeth.

Eriol's eyes seemed to dance with amusement. He brushed his hand up along her leg to make her lose her balance as she tried to shoo his hand away, and he used the moment to roll over and position his body over hers. He dipped his head to kiss her, his lips slow and caressing her own.

"You seem tense. How about another smoke?"

* * *

**oOoOoOo

* * *

**

"This is the last of it." Eriol glanced at Tomoyo. "Maybe I should have told you, I came back to Tomoeda for my last bit of opium too. It's a pain to obtain these days from the fields."

She felt slightly crestfallen; she had just begun to enjoy it and was looking forward to smoking more. She sighed at the long pipe she held in her hand.

"Savor it," he told her. "I love to see a woman with an opium pipe. It's the perfect image of elegance."

Tomoyo took a slow breath and blew the smoke out towards his face.

"Do you not like long hair?" she asked.

Eriol replied, "I suppose that's where Clow Reed and I differ. He loved long hair on his partners, to get entangled in it and just get messy."

Tomoyo replied with a look of disgust.

"I, on the other hand, would prefer to just get straight to your skin."

"You'll have better luck with a prostitute, Hiiragizawa."

"Well if I can't have the pleasure of your naked body, then at least let me watch Syaoran-"

"God, no!" Tomoyo nearly choked on the smoke. "I will kill you."

"Very well, I won't. Just time to let the drugs and booze wear off." He poured two glasses of wine and handed one to Tomoyo. His hand thoughtlessly made its way to hold Tomoyo's, and he made circles with his thumb around her wrist. She looked over at him, his eyes sleepy and his pale skin tinted a warm orange by the lights of the room. For a man, he was quite handsome.

She focused on his hand holding hers. It was comforting. It was intimate. It was loving. It felt good.

He was the first person to touch her like that, to kiss her neck the way he did, to kiss her lips the way he did, to look into her eyes so intensely, to want to see her naked.

It was Eriol Hiiragizawa that now sat next to her, holding her hand and touching her wrist.

It was Eriol Hiiragizawa and **not **Sakura Kinomoto.

Sakura Kinomoto, the rosy-faced, green-eyed object of all her love and adoration was busy in a bed at that moment, having a sexual experience with Syaoran Li.

Tomoyo threw the pipe and glass across the room and began to cry.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

_Something in me _

_Knows there's something more _

_And it's so close I wanna run_

* * *

**oOoOoOo

* * *

**

**End Note:** I don't like writing dialogue for stories, since I'm always afraid it'll read like a screenplay. I hope you all really enjoyed this part. It's considerably shorter than the first two!

I'm feeling a bit iffy about how I'll be wrapping this story up (or perhaps continuing it?). Songspiration is "Something Beautiful" by Tracy Bonham. I did my best to capture this hazy, up-and-down emotional mess that the Tomoyo and Eriol are suffering in. Eriol's had three years to try to heal himself, but he's always the mysterious one and we're never sure what his ulterior motives are. He might just have his little sex (or sex-less) fling with Tomoyo and leave her, he might not. He's a bit more difficult to read. Tomoyo, on the other hand, is realizing that letting go of someone she loves isn't that easy. Add to that the knowledge that that person's fully committing herself to someone else, and you've got a waterfall of tears.

I didn't expect to be at a loss about where to take this story.

I'm open to criticisms, suggestions, whatever! Leave a comment. More to come!


	4. PART FOUR: Resisting Retreat

**PART FOUR: Resisting Retreat**

* * *

******oOoOoOo**

* * *

A calming exhaustion cast over Tomoyo, whose enraged bawling had since reduced to occassional sniffles. Eriol merely looked over in her direction, a hazy and bemused expression overlying his features.

"That was quite a show." One corner of his mouth twitched upwards to form a sarcastic smile. He twirled his fingers through the ends of her hair.

She was in no mood to have a war of words with the man, so she put it bluntly. Tomoyo worked through the mucous lodged in her throat to reply, "I want to go home to sleep."

He shrugged, holding out his hands in a very western manner.

"You may clean yourself up, but I'm afraid I can't let you sleep just yet."

"Why the fuck not?" Her voice was considerably deeper and monotone. She could barely keep her eyes open at this point.

"Well, I guess you can sleep on our way there."

"Where?"

Eriol stood up and walked toward the corner of the room where he picked up a small wooden box. He stood in front of Tomoyo, who seemed seconds away from passing out on the sofa.

"I have in my hands your mother's ashes. It's scattering time."

Tomoyo's eyes flew open.

"How did you get that?" She also wondered how much he paid or what evil magic he used to procure such a personal, precious belonging. The urn was supposed to remain at the temple until further notice- namely, when she went to the temple to pick it up herself.

He ignored her question completely."I must say, it's quite dishonorable toward your mother to postpone the ash scattering for this long."

Tomoyo groaned. "I don't even know if that's all hers... there was only so much of my mother they could find."

"It's the thought and the carrying out of a symbolic tradition that actually matters, you know. Now, let's get going."

Tomoyo's brain seemed to hibernate and be unable to formulate a coherent rebuttal. Oppressing exhaustion made her limbs feel as heavy as lead, and she wasn't sure if it was due to the drugs, alcohol, or both. She just could not tell.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

The weather could not be more depressing and unpleasant. The beach was hauntingly empty, and they settled on a spot at the end of a shaky-looking boardwalk that was too close to the water than should have been allowed.

"This is the beach that used to be privately owned by the Amamiya family, isn't it? My mother spent her summers with Nadeshiko here during her childhood."

"She also requested that her ashes be scattered into the ocean."

Tomoyo decided not to question how he knew the contents of her mother's confidential will. She sat on the wooden planks and contemplated the scene before her.

"What gets me the most," Tomoyo's voice was oddly striking and clear, "is that my mother never loved anyone else besides Nadeshiko. Her fucking obsession with Nadeshiko was her ball and chain throughout her life."

"That's one downside to monogamy."

"And the downside to having your sexual lifestyle is contracting herpes every now and then," she snapped.

"Nothing a little ointment and medicine can't cure."

Tomoyo's feet dangled from the edge of the boardwalk, just a few feet above the water. A light mist had set in above the water, obscuring the view of the hilly oceanside and giving the sea a somber gray color.

She had every reason to doubt that she was the product of a loving consummation between her mother and another man, further cementing the fact that her mother was completely romantically bankrupt until her sudden death. Tomoyo fully recognized her own sadly comparable state, and she wished her mother had found another love to bring her happiness. All the financial success in the world was not able to satisfy all aspects of Sonomi Daidouji's life as a human being; biological urges were not easy to quell, and so she simply worked longer and harder hours to distract herself.

"My mother deserved someone to make her happy, but she was too stubborn to let go of Nadeshiko." Tomoyo threw a small stone into the water and sighed.

"Your mother did have someone besides Nadeshiko, you know."

"I don't mean me, I'm talking about-"

"I know what you mean. After all those years, Sonomi Daidouji cautiously let down her guard and found a kindred spirit in a man, no less. She was actually quite... content." Eriol's eyes flickered mischeviously again.

Intrigue and horror hit Tomoyo at this news. She despised the thought of him being able to pry into the life of her mother- a virtual stranger to him, but she certainly wanted to know who had been able to win her mother's affections. Her grasp on the stone urn grew tight, mortifying thoughts rushing into her mind.

"Oh god, please don't tell me it was any of those slimy, Armani-wearing company yuppies."

"Absolutely not."

They stared at each other for a moment, listening to the soft noise of the water crashing against the rocks. Eriol's lips curled at the corner and his eyebrows jerked up playfully. It infuriated Tomoyo.

"Your mother found a kindred spirit in the good Professor Kinomoto."

Tomoyo just continued to stare with a blank expression.

"Oh, come on now. Does that really shock you so? The professor's patient demeanor and calming persona served as a perfect foil for your hotheaded mother. Plus, it was about time they shared a bed for recreation."

"Was she going to tell me...?"

Eriol shrugged. "They found happiness with each other that they hadn't felt in years. Other concerns were completely secondary."

The urn felt cool against her fingers. Eriol placed his hand on hers.

"She wanted you to find happiness, too."

Tomoyo looked away.

"Let's just spread these ashes now."

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

They found themselves getting comfortable in a beachside hotel not too long after. A deep-set exhaustion began to overwhelm Tomoyo, and she immediately sought refuge on the bed.

Eriol sat next to her and pulled out what looked like a strange cigarette.

"You're going to smoke a cigarette in here? This is a no-smoking room."

"Don't be silly." He pulled out a lighter. "This is a joint of marijuana. Not too popular in Japan, unfortunately."

"You never fail to be perfectly equipped."

He took a long draw and expelled the smoke through his lips. It smelled rancid to Tomoyo and she nearly gagged; the heavy grassy odor made her feel ill.

"What's wrong? Would you like to try?" He waved the paper joint in front of her face. She snatched it from his hand and threw it to the floor, proceeding to stomp it out. She rolled back over on the bed and shut her eyes.

"Go to sleep, Hiiragizawa. I have a feeling you haven't slept in days."

"I don't know how you expect me to fall asleep next to such a succulent creature as yourself."

Eriol wormed his way next to Tomoyo and nuzzled against her neck, stroking her hair. Surprisingly, she didn't kick his shins or groin in resistance; instead, she moved her hand along the back her his neck and combed his hair with her fingers. She sighed lightly and Eriol growled in response to the sweet sound.

"Oh, Tomoyo, it's been ages since I've had a good screw with a woman. Why won't you give in to my English charms?"

She tugged at his hair and buried her face into the front of his shirt, her desire for sleep greatly overcoming her desire to make him howl in pain. She didn't even think about the risk of waking up with his hand under her clothing, either.

"Go to sleep, Hiiragizawa," she muttered.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

He was mesmerized by the smooth rise and fall of her chest, her soft breath passing through her lips with a silky sigh. Pot certainly made things a hell lot more interesting.

Being high was the closest he could get to being asleep and feeling the sense of calm and repose he had not been blessed with for the past eleven days. This was far more severe than the typical insomnia that could plague the livelihoods of normal people; his affliction was further fueled by magic that ran through his veins, causing heated surges of restlessness and frustration that refused to be quelled by mere drugstore remedies. In a moment of desperation he swallowed more sleep-inducing medicines that only resulted in four days' worth of nearly endless vomiting and a panic-stricken Ruby Moon. He walked through the damp and cold streets of his town in the quiet dead of the night in an attempt to physically tire himself to sleep.

But watching this strange girl peacefully snooze imbued in him the desire to lie down next to her and match his breathing with hers. He studied her dark lashes and the discolored skin around her eyes, her dark hair now dirty from hours of smoking and lounging around, smelling faintly of the sand and sea.

Eriol held her warm hand between his own cool palms and closed his eyes.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

**End Note:** I am very determined to finally finish this story. Thanks for reading, and I always love to read your comments. One more chapter left, I believe.


	5. PART FIVE: Simple Solution

**PART FIVE:** Simple Solution

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

Tomoyo woke up to the crinkle of paper folded in her right hand. Warm red rays of light from the setting sun peered through the incompletely drawn curtains and fell against the white wall. She drew in a sharp breath and struggled to keep her eyes open, her body still heavy from an unusually deep slumber. She opened the piece of paper and tried to focus her sight on the light, slanted strokes of Eriol's handwriting:

"I've extended your stay in the hotel. Take care. -E.H."

She scanned the short note a few more times before a sickening feeling made her lurch forward in bed. She was, indeed, alone in the room. There was no sign that there ever was another person in the room with her.

She contemplated the small piece of paper for another moment, deciding whether to keep it or throw it away in the nearby bin; its uncaring brevity and shallow terseness painfully gnawed away at her composure.

Of course he would do that.

Hastily stuffing the paper into her pocket, she swallowed down the tingling initiation of a sob and went to the faucet to splash her face with water.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

"You didn't have to leave so rudely."

Sonomi Daidouji- or her spirit, rather- raised a judgmental brow and rested her chin on her knuckles. Her eyes darted from Eriol and back to the window.

Eriol ignored her and remained focused on packing his clothes.

"If she's at all related to you, she'll quickly come to her senses and get back to her studies."

"What worries me is that she'll work herself to death. You're the only one that seems to be able to reel her back into sanity, regardless of your liberal use of drugs."

"I'm sure she'll find happiness. Maybe not with Sakura, maybe not with me. But she'll find her happiness the way you want her to. I'll make sure of it."

Eriol smiled weakly.

"What about yourself?" Sonomi inquired.

"Your daughter helped me sleep for the first time in days. I'm really quite satisfied."

Sonomi made a less-than-impressed expression.

"You're what they call an insufferable twat, aren't you?"

"I suppose it comes with being magical."

There was a brief moment of silence before Sonomi spoke again.

"Did you take care of the box like I asked you to?"

"You know I did."

Sonomi nodded and offered a sympathetic smile before fading away.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

A rush of relief overcame Tomoyo the moment she stepped on the plush carpet of her home. The past few days seemed to shrivel into the back of her mind like a strange dream.

Something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. It was a polished redwood box that belonged to her and her mother that she hadn't seen in years. Next to the box rested a metal key and a small card with a familiar disdainful handwriting.

"Take this box and key to Fujitaka Kinomoto. Your mother requests this of you. Thank him for her."

Not sure whether to take this seriously or not, Tomoyo contemplated for a moment in silence before groaning and picking up the box and heading out the door.

She gulped at the sight of the sunny Kinomoto residence and hesitated before ringing the doorbell. What if it was Sakura who answered the door instead? Or Touya? She stared at the box in her hands and pressed the button for the bell.

The tall and bespectacled professor, his light brown hair now streaked with gray, opened the door and widened his eyes in surprise.

"Tomoyo! What brings you here?"

Suddenly feeling embarrassed, Tomoyo nearly threw the box into his chest and felt an urgency to leave.

"I-I was asked to bring this to you. It's my mother's... I guess now It's yours."

Fujitaka looked baffled, unsure of what to say.

"Would you like to come in?"

The aroma of tea and baked goods swirled under her nose. She was always impressed with his wide range of abilities; not only was he intelligible and a respected figure in his department, he was also a wonderful father and cook. Tomoyo almost nodded and felt her legs attempt to step into the house.

She quickly shook her head and stretched her mouth into an apologetic smile.

"N-no thank you, I should get going."

"Well, at least take some cookies I just made. I always make too much to eat by myself. Wait right here."

Before she could protest, he turned to go into the kitchen. She waited uncomfortably, looking down at her shoes and around at the trees. Fujitaka returned with a brown bag, neatly folded closed at the top.

"Here you go. I hope you like chocolate." He smiled.

Tomoyo slowly accepted the bag, concentrating on its color and not the face that looked so similar to Eriol's. Here was a man who had lost two women he loved. He had been rejected by his wife's in-laws and had to raise two children on his own. Yet here he was, smiling, in a clean house that smelled of warm chocolate and sugar, holding out a bag of extra cookies he packed for a girl who hadn't spoken to him in months.

Tomoyo swallowed.

"My mom... er... I wanted to..." she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She quickly dabbed them away and continued, "I want to thank you."

"Oh it's nothing, I bake all the time."

"No, I wanted to take you for making my mother... happy."

Fujitaka's smile changed.

"Ah, this is a bit embarrassing. Your mother wasn't sure if she would tell you..."

"You were both happy with each other, and all other matters were secondary. I'm... I'm glad it was you."

"I never would have thought your mother would have such a change of heart with me. But I'm glad I could make her happy."

"Were you? Happy?" Tomoyo wanted to kick herself for sounding like an idiot, but the professor took it kindly.

"I can feel both Nadeshiko and Sonomi's presence with me. They're always near, and I couldn't be happier. It's difficult to keep from crying and getting angry and cursing when you lose someone so dear to you."

Tomoyo wasn't one to offer motions of condolence, but something in the way the faint wrinkles around his eyes and mouth appeared and the way his fine hair swept down over his forehead made her lift her arm and touch Fujitaka's arm.

He continued, "But you build strength when you make yourself move on and feel better. You mother was a generous and strong woman. She loved you very much."

Tomoyo dabbed at her eyes and nose and grinned, feeling awfully silly.

"Thanks for the cookies. I- I hope you like the box."

"You're welcome, and you're free to visit anytime you'd like. Sakura's missed you a lot."

She clutched the bag and bobbed her head in a nod before quickly turning and walking away from the house. She put a hand in the bag and reached for a warm cookie, breaking off a portion and stuffing it in her mouth.

The pangs of hunger began to shoot forth as she bit into the soft pastry. Tears began to flow out of her eyes as she tried to chew.

Fujitaka's attention turned to the box he had momentarily set on the counter. A small silver key was attached to its side. He took it off to unlock the front of the box, and he opened the polished lid to see a bouquet of dried sakura blossoms and a satin pouch that appeared to contain a tiny eraser that Sakura used as a child. The browned flowers were tiny and brittle, but he recognized them quickly; this was Nadeshiko's wedding bouquet. He brushed his fingers lightly over the flowers, smiling at their light rustle.

There was a small lavender card on the velvet bottom of the box. He took the piece of paper and held it up in front of his eyes, his vision having gotten blurry with age.

"For the kind, patient and caring Professor Kinomoto who taught me how to enjoy the world.

Yours truly, Sonomi Daidouji."

"I thought you hated sappy notes," Fujitaka said with a light smile.

"Sometimes, sappy fits the bill." Sonomi replied with a quick raise of her brow.

Fujitaka looked sadly at the shining gold band around his finger. He met Sonomi's curious glance and, exchanging small smiles, he twisted it off and placed it on the dark velvet of the inside of the box.

"Like I've said before, I think we did pretty well for single working parents. I'm sure Tomoyo will come around soon and make you proud."

Sonomi slid her fingers against the back of his neck, her soft and otherworldly touch feeling like a cool breeze against his skin.

"I'm already proud of her. I've been proud of her since she was born."

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

Tomoyo lied down on her bed with a heavy sigh, her mind drawing nothing but a fuzzy blur. There were too many things to think about and worry over, and another bout of exhaustion began to set in. The new academic semester was to begin rather soon and her mother's company was now in her hands. And he...

He was certainly the strangest thing to happen in her life. A three-day-long marathon of alcohol and drugs had become a short vacation with an cold, awkward end. She placed her arm over her eyes and pushed away thoughts of his voice, hair, face and touch.

He stormed into her life without an explanation and ran away just the same.

Eriol as far as she knew, was gone.

* * *

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

**End Note:** I'm still not quite sure if should should be the end or not. Time will tell. As always, thanks for reading.


End file.
